He who finds a wife finds a good thing, so says the holy book, Which guy wouldn’t think of getting married on reading that? It went further to say “two shall become one”(mark 10:8), again you’ll be tempted to jump into marriage, won’t you? But then, there are right reasons to get married and there are wrong reasons.
Marriage is too sacred to be desecrated by just nursing some desires which would prompt you to either pop the question or answer yes to him. At the end of this post, we will see the wrong reasons people get married and in a later post, we will be looking into the right reasons.
What does the bible say?
Biblically (although this post is not about the scriptures or spirituality), but biblically, it is better to stay single than to get married. Did somebody just exclaim “Holy Cow”? I know it might be difficult to believe, but I want you to maintain an open mind, so you’ll get the message. Just hold on, whatever religion you belong to, you can read the bible, Get hold of it and read Matthew 19:7-11. In that verse, Christ was telling his disciples the rules of divorce, then after all said and done, the disciples upon hearing everything understood that once one was married there is no way out except death (hence the phrase “Till death do us part”), so they added “That means it is better not to get married” and Christ affirmed it. If it were not so, I know Christ, he would have corrected the notion.
Don’t worry, the bible didn’t say it’s wrong to get married, it only said its “Better” to stay single. After all, the bible introduced marriage. So there was a clause, If you cannot keep away from immoralities, get married, and this have prompted many people to go into marriage for the wrong reasons.
Having established the fact that it is better not to get married, I have to state too that marriage is a beautiful thing “advised” by God himself. But there are some wrong reasons why people go into marriage.
According to the American Psychological Association, the divorce rate in the United States of America is at an incredible 40-50 %, that’s not a typographical error, I man 40% to 50%. This means four to five of every ten marriages would collapse and end in a divorce, and this is increasing daily, But Spain, Portugal, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, and Hungary are worse off with divorce rates higher than 60% and Belgium has an alarming 70% divorce rate. Need I say more? This is so because there are more and more people going into marriage for the wrong reasons. When Purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable
When Purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable
Wrong reasons people get married
Alright, below are the wrong reasons why people get into marriage, and I won’t want these to continue. Even though you are going to get married, you should for the right reasons ONLY.
1. Societal Pressure: A lot have believed that once you reach a certain age, you are expected to be married. This is very common in Africa and Asia (also exists in other part but most prominent in these two regions). The immediate family starts asking questions if by the time they think is right and you don’t have a spouse yet. And this pushes the individual into “untimely” marriage to escape the pressure.
2. Stereotype: Believing that it is compulsory to or that’s how it “must” be. Of course it’s quite normal but(getting married) it’s not compulsory. Marriage is a choice and it remains a choice, provided you can withstand the pressure of lust.
3. Religious Reasons: In your places of worship, your spiritual leaders start asking questions. “You need to start raising kids”, you hear this almost every day. Biblical quotes supporting marriage pours in from left, right and centre. You are forced to seek a partner because you want to look “responsible”
4. Official Reasons: Some establishments deny their single staff of some privileges, it is generally believed that until you get married, you are not yet responsible. While this is not totally true, it looks so on the outside. You stop visiting the club(at least it is believed you should), you stop hanging out with the “boys” or the your female friends, you start taking responsibility of your spouse and maybe kid(s). Many see this to mean you are responsible. Does it mean the single chap across the road is irresponsible? Does this mean it is impossible to be responsible and be single? NO!
5. Raising Kids: Many people want to be addressed as a mum or dad. Many want to experience the feeling of raising a child so they jump into marriage even when they are not ready for it. Today many people have modernized it, they pay you to either father their child, or be the mum of their child, and then they keep the child. Isn’t that an insult on that child? I think it is.
6. Financial Reasons: marriage has become politics to some people. They now “play the game of marriage”, how appalling. They hunt for a rich guy or lady, fake love and make him/her fall, get married and then share the spoils. Alternatively number 7 below might interest you
7. Contract marriage: Some people contract their marriage, get married for a certain period(say 6 years) and then the deal is over, Divorce.
8. Age factor: You think age is not on your side? You are attempting to escape menopause (mostly for the ladies). So you jump into an undesired marriage. A marriage you wouldn’t have admired when you were eighteen.
9. Sex: This might have come last on my list, but certainly not least. It is the reason most people get into marriage for the wrong reasons.
Other reasons include Pity for the partner, fear of being lonely, fear of leaving him or her, unwanted pregnancy is also a cause.
These are the top wrong reasons people get married.
What are your reasons of getting married If you have, why do you think people get married? What other wrong reasons you think are there why people get married?. We would like you to share with us using the comment area below, we would love to hear from you., don’t just move to the next post, leave a comment.