Friendship involves two people who have the same goals, purpose or lifestyle in common, it is also beautiful when the personality of these individuals are a sharp contrast as this brings sparks and suspense into their lives(although they should know how to manage this difference as it might cause a very big heartbreak if not properly managed or handled).
We all want friends and want to be friends to those amazing people around. There are however sins we commit in the relationship of friendship and at the end of this post you’ll see those sins you should stop committing to get the best of your relationship with that amazing friend of yours.
When you have a friend and want your friendship to stay for a very long time, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Sins you must not commit in friendship
- Don’t Advice them: What makes you think you are right anyway? You don’t advice your friends because there is no assurance you are 100% correct, and even if you were, you are not and adviser. To advice your friend(s) always means one thing, you are more intelligent, you are wiser, you are better- and this is not true, at least to him/her. I know you might be asking already, “What if he needs help so badly, What if he has to make a choice?” Don’t worry, you’re covered, here’s what you do, Ask Questions. Sincere and harmless questions that would help him/her reach a conclusion. Does he want to quit his job to start a business of his own and he seeks your advice on how to and when to? Here’s an idea of what to do, ask him “How about your family, how would you provide for them in the first three months?, how would you pay your rent? Can you handle the emotions of losing your capital, how would you take care of your fiancée, what if, what if not, why do you, how can you….( you know those questions) ask them. These questions would help him/her reach a conclusion and it would seem he took that decision himself, and here’s what happens, you’ll save face if anything goes wrong, and if it all goes right, he’ll love you because you are an ever present friend who help analyze his choice and didn’t choose for him. See, if you take that decision for him, and it goes wrong, its you!. If you take it for him, and it goes right , its him. Above all, you’ll be seen as domineering if you are always “advising”, it’s a friendship for crying out loud, not “lordship”. OPPPPs, I just broke this rule, I’m advising you- DAMN!!!
- You Lend them money: Why would you lend your friend money? Alright I get it, you are either a bank or Bill Gates, (Ok,alright, sorry for the sarcasm), but then why would you lend them money? This is what happens, when you start lending your friends money, you start destroying your relationship with them. In case they can’t repay, you’ll not be able to request for your money as you should, when its protracted you’ll not be able to involve the police( this is your friend for the love of God), you won’t even dare. And it’s simply because he’s your friend. And if you succeed to get anybody and maybe the police involved, after the payment, your friendship is gone and you’ve got one great enemy who knows you inside out. Be prepared for an attack at anytime, such attack you do not anticipate even though you are prepared for it.
What do I do Now?
Simple, Give them, and forget it. What?!!!Did you just scream at the thought of parting with the five hundred thousand dollars he requested? Of course am not guessing you would part with such an amount. What you’ll do is to give him what you can afford and nothing more. Whatever you can afford of the sum is ok, give it. Don’t expect it back, it’s your friend after all and you might need same help tomorrow, so just do it. Give only what you can afford or are able to part with. If he returns it and you feel like taking it, no problems, but when you let go of the money, you are indirectly telling him to stop asking for funds,(you didn’t say it, he’ll think it, and you won’t be hated for it).
- You meddle in their love affairs: Are you now a professional love doctor? Even if you were, this is not your job, it’s your friend. Take the tip on number one here. Ask questions. And when there is an issue between them, don’t take sides, simply take it cool. Keep reminding them they love themselves, keep re-emphasizing it that they are amazing lovers and shouldn’t quarrel. Don’t’t ever make the mistake of taking sides. You know why? Alright, here is it. They’ll finally make up, and when they are on the bed, they’ll discuss you as the enemy of their love. “Why Does Bisco want us to breakup? Honey, Why was he constantly attacking you? Are you sure he is who you think he is?”…(Something like that)…and you’ll be placed under secret scrutiny, Abused and DUMPED. You want to avoid it? Simple, Don’t be a mediator, Don’t take sides. Period!
- Don’t expect too much: I don’t think that friend of yours is Jesus, So I don’t know why you’ll expect him to sacrifice his life for you. Why on earth are your expectations of him that high? The only way not to get disappointed is never to expect anything, no one owes you anything, so avoid the sin of expecting too much from your friend. Alright?
- Also, Don’t expect them to always be like you, always satisfy you or always be loyal, sometimes they’ll just rebel. That’s it, we are all different, posses different temperament which cause us to act differently, so don’t expect everybody to be like you.
I think this post is quite interactive enough. I don’t know if you have anything you think should be a part of it or should be removed. I’ll appreciate your contributions through the comment area, and lets interact.
Over to you, what do you think about this post? does these argument about friendship hold water? We all want to hear from you so use the comment area to share your view.
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